Konami Abruptly Announces They’re Making a Strand-Type Game
The news follows Hideo Kojima’s announcement of a new espionage action game in the vein of Metal Gear Solid
TOKYO — Following Hideo Kojima’s announcement of a new espionage action game in the vein of Metal Gear Solid, Konami immediately and unexpectedly announced they would be making a strand-type game.
“People are free to make whatever type of game they want, provided they don’t use any Konami-owned intellectual property,” said Konami Digital Entertainment President Hideki Hayakawa, struggling to play a familiar package-delivery game. “By the same token, we are also free to make games in any genre. That’s why we’re announcing a new game in the fast-growing strand-type genre. Development will commence as soon as we find out what the hell ‘strand-type’ actually means.”
Though taken aback by baby cries blaring out of his controller, Hayakawa continued.
“No one person owns the stealth genre, and no one person owns the strand-type genre either, whatever it means. I mean, could we go after someone who makes a game similar to our popular Metal Gear Solid series, especially after we gave that person everything including the funding and resources to do it in the first place, and who knows good and well that they’re invoking that series by announcing a similar game? Yes, we could. But instead, we could just take the high road and make the games we want to make. And at this time, that happens to be a strand-type game. We plan to start making it as soon as we figure out what the fuck that actually means.”
Asked about the timing of the game’s announcement with the announcement of Kojima’s spiritual MGS successor, Hayakawa insisted it was a coincidence.
“I know we have an infamous recent history with the person you mentioned,” Hayakawa said, “but the timing of these announcements is pure chance. If anything, I would venture he announced his not-Metal Gear game because we announced a remake of Metal Gear Solid 3. So, really, who is responding to who? I’ll tell you one thing: our strand-type game is going to be way better than whatever he comes up with. I mean, we can put Snake in our game and he can’t. So I’m not worried. Not one bit.”
At press time, Konami was exploring the possibility of repurposing the strand-type game for their new line of pachinko machines.